Merry Christmas!

Well, I TRIED to send out Christmas cards. Letters really. Some didn't print properly. Hope destroyed more than a few. My mail merge didn't work properly to get all the labels printed. I guess I just wasn't meant to send them out this year. So, since I DID put the effort into the letter, I'm just going to post it instead. On Facebook since copying and pasting won't work here.

ARGH! I feel like Charlie Brown right now and everything I touch breaks! Hopefully not since I have to install my tax software and get letters out to my clients. :-) Oh - and BAKE. I haven't even started that yet. Lots to do and so little time. Christmas Eve is tomorrow!

Just know that I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and that the Behling family is doing alright in Huntsville, UT (and Idaho Falls, ID). Hopefully the card thing works out next year!

Merry Christmas!

Apart, but NOT Separated

What a title...but it's true. Once again Joe and I are living apart, but this time he actually got the job in Idaho Falls. YEAH! Two days after I last wrote on this blog Joe was offered a job. He'd just scheduled an interview in Salt Lake when a head hunting company in Idaho Falls contacted him about a phone interview for a position at Idaho National Laboratory (INL) where he was trying to get a job last year. I just laughed since we NEVER heard a yes or no regarding a job there. All INL ever told us was that Joe was one of the top two candidates, but they had to do some restructuring first. I was flying back to Memphis after a tax forum in Las Vegas and visiting my mom when I got a call at the Houston airport. Joe told me the phone interview had been cancelled because the people at INL remembered him from last year and told CRI to hire him - no more interviews required. I sat in the airport and my eyes were tearing up. I called my mom who had told me at the Salt Lake airport she thought we'd see each other soon. She was driving in Ogden Canyon when I told her about the offer. She was trying not to cry as was I. People in the Houston airport probably thought I was having a rough time when in fact I was thinking that my dad was sending me a wonderful birthday present. Joe finished the gift by taking the job. He actually did do the interview in SLC, but it didn't feel right, so he took the job in Idaho Falls, ID.

There are some minor issues with the job - a slight paycut and virtually NO relocation coverage, but you do what you must. We'd wanted this for so long and it felt right. Joe might not have gotten in through the front door, but at least a back door was open. :-) He started work on September 27th, so we left Memphis on the 23rd - all of us. Less than three weeks to put together a move. Thank goodness we still had lots packed from LAST year.

It was still a monumental task with a nursing baby as one of six kids. The boys would keep playing with the toys that I was making them get rid of or making price lists for toys to be sold at the garage sale. They thought they'd get LOTS of money for various items. They did volunteer to sell old bikes and scooters, and they got the money from those items. I kept the money from the sale of clothes though. Not much in the way of hand me downs now! I'll be hitting the thrift shops for warmer clothing, that's for sure.

Some how we managed to get things packed, even though it took us literally until the last minute. Even then, much was left behind. Thank goodness for Joe's sister that stayed in our house with her daughter to clean and paint. She hauled lots of stuff to Goodwill for us, and probably made a trip to the dump, too. Joe's brother flew out to drive the moving truck to Utah then Idaho. It took the largest U-haul truck AND trailer to get us out here, and we still couldn't fit everything. Luckily I did get my washer and dryer since I didn't want to replace them. We don't know how we got as much on the truck as we did. It was like the truck kept swallowing boxes and asking for more.

I never was a HUGE fan of Memphis as a city. I did like that they rarely got snow (although it wouldn't be bad if it would stay off the streets and sidewalks), but I didn't like the extreme heat and humidity in the summer. The kids only ever wanted to play outside in the spring and fall. As much as I disliked the schools, humidity, racisim, and politics of Memphis, I did learn to appreciate many of the people there. A bit of a hermit, I had a hard time figuring out which friends I could call for help. I was surprised as to how many people came to help us - before and after we left. The guys that Joe worked with came and helped load the truck. They were disappointed to see him leave, but what a testiment to Joe's leadership that the guys he managed would bend over backwards to help their former boss move away, even when that would mean a HUGE increase in their own work loads.

Joe and I have been west for two weeks now. The kids and I are living in my mom's house while Joe lives with my uncle and aunt in Idaho Falls. The kids are enjoying school again - even Heather. The high school is working with us so she can get caught up and graduate on time. They registered her as a junior where as the school in Memphis would have set her back a year. I told Joe there was a reason Utah was a promised land!

Although the kids like Utah and have friends here, I will be relieved to get all of us to Idaho where we hope to build. This time I'll get a house that I like, that isn't decorated in 70's and 80's fashion. It will be big enough for our family with plenty of storage. We even plan on an apartment either above the garage or in the basement for parents or married children to stay in if needed. Now if our budget will accomodate our wishes...

I'm so glad to be here. It's been an eye opener for me as to how the Lord will bless us when we do what He asks. We were patient (although my patience was getting short), and prayed for help. We got it in spades. Joe's family is amazing. Mom is amazing letting me move in with the six kids. I've told them NOT to trash her house. They're being good, and Jeremiah is stepping up to be the "man of the house" since Joe is in Idaho Falls. It won't be easy, but at least we're closer to family now. Closer...but not TOO close. :-)

Tax Trip

Wow! This past week has flown by. Last Sunday I flew to Utah (my stomach barely made it) so that my mom and I could drive to Las Vegas for the IRS tax forum. Flying to Vegas might have made more sense, but since I wanted to introduce Hope to Joe's family in Payson and round-trips are less expensive than multi-destination trips, this was the way we did it.

Monday, Mom, Hope, and I headed to Vegas for the Forum after stopping briefly in Payson to show off Hope to Joe's family. Joe's sisters Leah, Laura, Linda, and LeAnn all came by along with his sister-in-law, Christine. I got some good pictures of Hope with my mom and Joe's parents, but since I'm not on my normal computer, I don't know how to get them on here. Guess that will have to wait for now...

We were in Vegas for three days of tax classes so I can maintain my license as an Enrolled Agent. Some of the classes were yawners, but some were quite informative and had good speakers. I did learn things that will help some of my clients this year.

The conference was at the Mandalay Bay, so I had arranged for us to stay there since it would be easier for me to feed Hope. The room was nice and the beds comfortable. There was a large, flat-screen tv that we had to figure out because you had to go to a menu before you could actually watch tv. The "fridge" that was in the room was a type of mini-bar, but since I don't drink alcohol, it just frustrated us that we couldn't put the juices my mom bought in it very well. The bathroom was HUGE and had a separate shower from the tub, plus a tv so that somebody could watch it while bathing. I didn't, but I could have. The thing that astounded me, though, was the fact that there was a phone next to the toilet. Now come on! Who really needs to talk on the phone while "doing their business?!" The thing we noticed most was that some of the conveniences you find at less expensive hotels (microwaves, free breakfast, coffee maker (for hot chocolate you know)) weren't available here. We ultimately decided that other hotels give you more value for your dollar and the price wasn't worth the view of the Las Vegas strip that we had. Since a free tram went between the Mandalay, Excalibur, and Luxor, we'd have been better off spending less on the rooms at the other hotels since getting Hope to me wouldn't have been any less convenient. Oh well...I doubt I'd attend the Forum in Vegas in the future anyway. Next year maybe I'll see if I can take the kids with me to Orlando or Anaheim so they can go to Disney.

Friday we were exhausted since we didn't get back to Huntsville until 3am. Mom ended up mowing her lawn and a few other things around the house. I tried contacting friends, but wasn't able to get a hold of some.

Yesterday, Saturday, Mom, Hope and I drove to Idaho Falls and visited my uncle, Jim, and aunt, Sueann. We looked at my mom's lot up there where Joe and I really want to build a house, but can't unless he gets a job around there. The fence is starting to come down and the people that have been keeping horses on it have started storing cars and stuff there. Although my uncle had told them that we were going to try working on the fence and the horses had to be moved, all they did was tie the horses in their yard rather than find another field for the horses to live. Horses to be gone next weekend... (yeah right)

We also drove up to the Ammon cemetery to see where my dad's ashes were buried and the monument that Mom chose for him. It is a nice headstone with a dove on it since he loved doves. I thought the trip there would be harder than it was. Mom said the same thing. What a blessing to know that Dad's not really there in the ground, but with our loving Heavenly Father. I know that he watches over us and can help my mom with her decision making now. She says that she knew what my dad was thinking when he was here, and she still knows what he's thinking. How beautiful is that? Now if he could prompt somebody in Idaho Falls to give Joe a job... Unfortunately, that's probably not how it works. *Sigh*

Today was great since I was able to see lots of people. Mom and I headed to church where many asked about the kids since they remember them from last year. They all would like to come back here...although that wasn't always the case. After church we went down to Ruth and David Stevenson's house. I knew them in Memphis, but now they're a mere 10 minutes from my mom's house. They both sing with MOTAB (Mormon Tabernacle Choir) and we watched the Music and the Spoken Word broadcast they recorded with them. It was a nice visit and hearing their story about their move to Utah reminded me that I must have patience and that our move will happen in the Lord's time. I just need to keep telling myself that when I get frustrated with the pace of everything.

After visiting the Stevensons, we went out to Hooper to see Nathan Seaich (my brother's best friend) receive the Melchezidek (sp?) priesthood and be ordained an Elder. What a change he's made in his life! It was so neat to see him ordained by his father-in-law.

Our last stop today was at my cousin Mandy's house. The Keime clan gathers at somebody's house on Sundays for a get together. Amy, Mandy, Chris, and my aunt Judy and uncle Al were there. My cousins' children all played together outside and the rest of us chatted. Amy's daughter, Drue, is a precious 9 month old. The older girls played on the trampoline, and the boys played soccer. Chris's youngest son toddled around trying to convince Chris to let him have "one more" ice cream sandwich. :-) What a wonderful family! I sure love my cousins. It would be great for my boys to live around them and get to know their second cousins. Maybe some day.

Now it's off to bed for me and Hope since we go to Payson again tomorrow. I'm sure Rex and Thora would like more time with Hope before we fly back to Memphis on Tuesday. They don't realize it yet, but Joe will be out soon too. He has a third interview with Overstock.com on Friday. Maybe something will come of it. Fingers crossed!

Strep and School

It's been a busy, busy day today! I can't believe all that I ended up doing today. Since having Hope, I'm just not used to running everywhere.

Jacob has strep. Because I saw him wince when swallowing, I dragged him and Hope to the doctor. I am leaving Sunday and wanted to be sure that he wouldn't miss any doses of medication, so I opted to have the doctor give him a penicillin shot to cure the strep. Normally Jacob is brave and doesn't balk about getting a shot, but not today! He decided to stand outside the room, so the nurse hesitated about coming in since he saw the needle. Oops! Two nurses finally came in and Jake had a total conniption. It took both nurses to get him on the table for the shot. One nurse held his hands behind his head while I held down his legs. The second nurse administered the shot. Man oh man did he scream! I thought only Heather had tempertantrums in the doctor's office about shots! Jacob sure out did her today! He talked about killing me and himself and shooting me twice. I told him he could hate me, but that the shot would get him to feel better, and that we DO NOT talk about killing ourselves or others.

Hope's exam was a piece of cake compared to Jacob's. I had the doctor look at her ears to make sure she didn't have an ear infection before flying. The airplane is probably NOT the place you want to find out that your baby has an infection. Another good thing I found out was that I CAN take Dramamine or Bonine while nursing! Yeah!

Later I had to go pick up Samuel from the school. The elementary has a large circular drive where people line up in their cars to pick up their children. Some will show up nearly an HOUR before school lets out. I don't get that at all. I have to come early since they let Samuel out about 30 minutes before the others get out. So, I pass all the cars in line and park in the teachers' lot and go get Sam. Not today though. Today a police car was blocking the left side of the entrance so I couldn't go past the line of cars to the parking lot. Instead, I had to go to another lot and hurry over to the other side of the school to get Sam. Definitely doable, but frustrating to change my routine.

I took Sam home then waited for Matthew since he rode his bike. Not a bad deal since I didn't have to hang around the school for 30 minutes waiting for him to come out. As soon as he got home, I loaded the kids up and took Heather to the chiropractor since she's been complaining about her back.

We got pizza on the way home, and about the time we finished eating, Joe and I had to leave again. Joe went to a parent meeting at the elementary, and I headed to the middle school. We had various issues we wanted to bring up at the schools. I gave Joe a list about the police car blocking the school's driveway, preschool dismissal practices, and Jacob's substitute teacher allegedly calling him a "cow head" (I think she meant "coward") the other day. Of course Jacob could have misunderstood. I sure hope he did and his sub isn't calling kids names. It will be nice when his regular teacher makes it to school. She had an embolism and was in the hospital for a while. She should be back to work by the first of October though. But I digress...

Joe tackled those issues while I went to the middle school thinking there were issues because they didn't put him in a co-teaching situation like was in his IEP. Only one class has a co-teacher, and it happens to be the class he generally does well in - social studies. When I went tonight and met his teachers, I realized that he has a study hall of sorts and the co-teacher in social studies isn't really a teacher but a guidance counselor. He has some unique teachers, but I think that all of them will really help him. They all love to teach and are trying to teach the kids to get organized and ready for high school. If only I could get my house organized...

After that, it was off to Wal-Mart since I missed Joe getting set apart for his new stake calling (computer specialist or something like that). While Joe was getting a speeding ticket, I was at Wal-Mart picking up a few more school supplies and lunch fixings for the kids. Then it was back home to put kids to bed. Now I'm off to bed as well because I have a feeling that tomorrow will be busy for me too since I really do need to get all the mounds of laundry done before I can pack for my trip to Utah. A BREAK! I really need one and can't wait to show Hope off to her grandparents.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Today's my mom's 64th birthday. I always have to figure out how old I am to know how old John is and add 29 to his age. You'd think I could just add 27 to my age, but for some reason I do it this way. Anyway, it sounds like she's having a good day. Although I sent it weeks ago, she held out until her birthday to open her heritage makers brag book and card that I made for her.



It was fun making the "brag book" since I was able to sift through pictures of John's girls via facebook and email him and Sharon for comments about the girls. It also made it so that John was able to give more than a phone call to Mom for her birthday.

I wish I was there today. I know that it's probably been an emotional day for her. I am SO glad that she's able to go to lunch with her sisters today. Even Karla is in town. The only one of the sisters not in Utah this week is Patti. They were planning to "do lunch" which probably took several hours. I don't know where they planned on going, just that it was in Bountiful, but guess it would be Chuck-a-Rama since my mom loves the buffet.

I imagine Mom will be fine for most of the day. It will be tonight when she stops and reflects on the day that she'll be sad that my dad wasn't there in person to celebrate with her. I know that he's close though.

My kids got father's blessings for school this week. After Joe finished with the kids, he gave me a blessing as well. I was told that my dad was close and would help hold me up on days that I didn't feel like I could handle the stress and uncertainty. I'm sure he's there for my mom, too. They are soul mates and I'm sure he gives her all the comfort he can. He's the one that helped give her the strength to move corral panels while her "renters" looked on. I always knew my mom was strong, but that's really impressive!

I can't wait to see my mom again. Luckily that is only 10 days from now. We'll have a busy nine days together. There's the tax seminar in Las Vegas and a day trip to Idaho planned. Hope is going to get to know her Gran really well! I'm excited so show Mom how much our little Hope has grown.

Love you, Mom! Happy Birthday!

Moving Confusion

Well, the job that Joe was offered last week and he accepted on Tuesday is no more. TEKsystems wanted him to fly out for two days so they could say he started before the August 2nd start date that he'd requested. Three weeks was too long apparently. Joe probably would have tried harder to go out to Sierra Vista, but they wanted him to pay for the flight, hotel, and car rental initially, then they would reimburse him. If we weren't needing that money to move him to Sierra Vista, AZ and get him set up in an apartment, it probably wouldn't be an issue. So, he emailed the recruiter and let him know that the 22nd and 23rd weren't possible. The response was that he would no longer be offered the position. Like they're going to get anybody to "fill the seat" (as Joe says) BEFORE August 2nd now.

So, we aren't moving after all. The plan had been for Joe to go to Sierra Vista for the six month contract. The kids and I were going to go to Utah so the house here in Memphis would be vacant and more easily sold. Now we continue looking for different positions out west.

I'm kind of bummed about the whole thing. I was so sure that it felt right. I hadn't felt good about taking the kids to Arizona by the beginning of August, but did about going to Utah in time for school. My impression was that Joe should take the job. Joe had mixed impressions because he wanted to move west and the job was appealing (once he talked to L-3). When he finally accepted the job he said he felt peace that it was the right decision. Now I think his initial impression to turn down the job was the right one and that he accepted it because I wanted him to. Although I had thought that Joe was letting his mortal concerns about supporting the family override what the spirit was telling him, I now believe that I was letting my desire to move out of Memphis overshadow what the spirit was telling ME.

One good thing came out of the whole thing, though. Heather actually cleaned her room!

New Job

Well, Joe finally decided today to take the job in Sierra Vista, AZ. He has stressed over this decision since Thursday. He had some questions answered on Friday, but there were more that he had. It was so frustrating for him over the holiday weekend to know that he wouldn't get any more answers until today, but he had to decide today.

At one point he said he was going to turn it down because he hadn't talked to anybody at L-3 (the company he'll be contracting for). Actually, he'd talked to a manager in Virginia who basically read the job description but maybe met the people in Sierra Vista once or twice a year. So, he called TEKsystems (the company hiring Joe for the contract) and said he didn't feel comfortable taking the job without talking to somebody there in Sierra Vista. As he put it, you don't buy a house without looking at it and you don't buy a car without test driving it. So, the recruiter at TEKsystems got him in touch with somebody at L-3 in Sierra Vista and took away all reasons for Joe to say no. He came home and we knelt in prayer together as his last confirmation that this job really was what he needed to do. He still wasn't totally sure of himself until after he accepted the job. Then the peace he was looking for came.

I'd talked to my mom about this decision and she can't remember ever struggling like this. I think that Joe knew deep down that this job was what he was supposed to do but wanted to look over all possibilities before accepting it. He isn't comfortable with the contract-to-hire aspect, but I think he'll find that the job comes through. Now we just have a boat load of stuff to do before he heads out.

Yes - it's just Joe going for now. I'll be a single mom for about six months. The kids and I will be getting the house ready to sell (or rent if we can't sell). I'm going to try and throw together a yard sale to get rid of a ton of stuff so that we have very little left in the house. I should sell or give away all the toys so that the house stays clean! Of course I'd have a bunch of mad kids at that point. Since Jacob's already packed his GeoTrax, I guess he could keep them. :-)

Now we've got to finalize a short-term apartment rental for Joe. I've already found a place that's holding a studio apartment, and Joe's already wondering what will happen if he breaks the lease. I guess it's the case of me being a "glass half full" person and his being a "glass half empty" person. It's not always that way. We flip-flop sometimes. He's right to ask the question, but I don't think that setting up a rental agreement for a shorter period of time and increasing the monthly rent by $150 is worth it. Since his sister knows some people in Sierra Vista, he asked her to see if anybody knows somebody looking for a roommate. We'll see what happens. Hopefully we don't lose the apartment...

So, we're off to Sierra Vista. Farewell to Memphis, our home for the past ten years. Memphis has been good for us, but I'm definitely ready for a change. This isn't going to be easy - the six month separation - but I do think that it will be worth it in the long run. And, I'm hoping that the house sells fast. If it does, I'll take the kids to Huntsville until January when the contract is up. We'd stay in my mom's house and the kids would go to school there since they already know people. I'd love to be out of here in six weeks so the kids could be there at the start of school, but I'm not sure it's possible. I can always hope for a miracle though...

Hope's Blessing

What a wonderful Independence Day! I haven't seen a single firework, although I am currently hearing them go off. But nothing could be better than see my wonderful husband standing in uniform with other priesthood members (some of them in uniform too) blessing our sweet baby, Hope.

Joe's nephew, Ty, came down from Nashville to participate. It was nice having one relative there. Well, two I guess. Cybil's (she's Joe's niece) brother-in-law stood in as well. Kind of a round about relation, but a relation nonetheless.

Hope was given a beautiful blessing. She had some wonderful promises of strength given to her. Joe had been nervous about messing up the first part of the blessing, but I guess he practiced enough last night because he did great. He also bore his testimony, as did I.

Joe had two friends come to the blessing, each with their spouse. Bonnie and her husband are Catholic. Jamie is Baptist and his wife, Lara, is Jewish. I wonder what they thought of a Mormon fast and testimony meeting... The whole meeting was wonderful with lots of tributes to military men and testifying that the founding fathers that wrote the Declaration of Independence and Constitution were inspired by God.

What a great way to celebrate our independence by showing our freedom by going to the church of our choice! Better yet, I know it to be the true church with the fullness of the Lord's gospel. I'm grateful to be a part of it.

Motherhood

My dear cousin, Mandy posted this on her blog. Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God It's a wonderful message from Jeffrey R. Holland. How appropriate for all of us mothers that struggle day to day with our children. Each give us something different to stress over. Babies frustrate their parents because they don't know why the baby is crying sometimes. Toddlers throw tantrums demanding whatever they want. Teens are similar, although they've graduated from tantrums to sulking and/or stomping off to their bedrooms and slamming doors.

My baby has been ill with a virus. The pediatrician even mentioned Rotavirus since she was losing lots of fluids from both ends. Luckily she wasn't dehydrated and is already starting to feel better. Matt was bitten by ants and his feet were swelling up like balloons, so that was worrisome as well. But I think my greatest stress was telling my oldest that Joe had been offered a job in Arizona that we're considering.

The job doesn't really pay any more than what he's making, but we'd be closer to family. That's a big plus. The down side is that it is a six month contract-to-hire, and Joe's afraid of being burned. He had one of those with FedEx years ago and was told that was how FedEx hired. He got into the position and then was told that the hiring wasn't a guarantee. He stressed so much over that nine years ago. We were fortunate, though, and FedEx did hire him when the contract company was ready to cut his pay due to FedEx being unwilling to pay the company as much for contractors. Joe said he couldn't do that and was going to look elsewhere, so FedEx hired him even during a hiring freeze. He doesn't want to go through that process again.

Yesterday he called the church offices since he interviewed with them a few weeks ago. Tuesday he should know more about what the status is for that position. He'd rather get the job in Utah, but we'd only be two hours form his sister in Arizona, so that's a positive aspect. Now it's lots of prayer and soul searching and doing number crunching to see if this move is going to be financially possible. Joe keeps saying that it's going to be hard and I keep thinking of the saying "I never said it would be easy, only that it would be worth it."

Hopefully whatever job he gets will be worth the long wait and the various stresses that we've had in the job search. We're flabergasted that he was offered this position without even an interview and that the government told the contracting company they wanted Joe in the position two hours after getting his paperwork. Apparently it generally takes days or even weeks for them to get an answer. I talked to my mom on the phone the other day and she said that maybe somebody received inspiration that Joe was to get the job and never felt the need to interview because of it. It sounds like that may be the case. Now if Joe can decide what the Lord is telling him to do.

Me, I feel another move coming on and am starting to organize the house and get things ready for Goodwill. I had considered a yard sale but decided that I don't have the energy to sit in the 100 degree heat and humidity all day trying to get rid of stuff. Besides that, the tax write off for the charitable contribution could be worth more than the money I might be able to make selling our old stuff in a yard sale or through eBay. Now if I could just convince the kids that getting rid of more of their toys is a GOOD thing... I may just have to endure the tears and chalk it up to one of those trying days that Elder Holland spoke of...

Travis Poll

What Is This Thing That Men Call Death

What is this thing that men call death,
This quiet passing in the night?
'Tis not the end but a genesis
Of better worlds and greater light.

O God, touch Thou my aching heart
And clam my troubled, haunting fears.
Let hope and faith, transcendent, pure,
Give strength and peace beyond my tears.

There is no death, but only change,
With recompense for vict'ry won.
The gift of Him who loved all men,
The Son of God, the Holy One.

- by Gordon B. Hinkley

President Hinkley wrote this poem, but nobody seems to know when. I imagine it may have been around the time of his dear wife's death. I started thinking about it last night after learning of my cousin Mandy's husband's passing. Many will say he lost the battle against cancer, but I know that Christ has already won the war against death. There is eternal life, and Travis has merely moved on to that realm. How wonderful for him to be back with our Heavenly Father!

Apparently today would have been his 36th birthday. He received the great gift of being freed from his pain and suffering. Although I know that he would love to continue to be with his Mandy and four children, I also know that he will continue to be there for them in spirit.

How wonderful it is to have the gospel and the knowledge that our loved ones live on after leaving this life! I know that Mandy is sorrowful and missing her eternal companion, and my heart aches for her. It still aches missing my father that passed away seven months ago. Although my father and now Travis have left the family here, I know that they will continue to grant us peace and comfort in their absence.

My mother recently took a trip where she came by here to see her newest grandchild, then traveled to Nauvoo, Independence, and Adam-Ondi-Ahman before going to Utah with her friend Shaaron Seaich. While in Adam-Ondi-Ahman, she says that she sensed my father's presence. I remember her saying that she felt it often after my dad died. I pray that Mandy will be able to feel Travis with her.

I'm sure that Travis would be saying the line from one of President Hinkley's favorite hymns, "God be with you 'till we meet again."

Hope - Always There

I can't help but think that Joe truly was inspired when he had a dream about naming our new daughter, Hope. My family, immediate and extended, has had many trials over the past few years. Some have been drawn out over a long period of time, and others were quick and unexpected. I feel that God wanted us to remember that we always have Hope - metaphorically and literally.

My cousin, Mandy, has been living through a difficult time since her husband has esophageal cancer. Travis has lived with this horrible illness for about two years now. Through it all, Mandy has blogged positively about her hopes for Travis and his beating the odds for this cancer. I admire her faith and strength in this trial. Her most recent post shows that she still hopes, although it be for Travis's peaceful passing rather than his being healed. She appears to accept that the Lord has other work for Travis, but relishes every day that God has given her and her four children with their dad. Her blog is a beautiful testimony for her friends and family to read since you can feel her faith in eternal life and forever families. She still has hope.

My mother has come to recognize some of the signs in people that they have before they pass on. She told me after my dad died, that he had appeared in a hurry to put things in order. He was stressing about a project that he was working on and trying to get it finished. His prayers had changed in their intensity and focus. Not that my dad knew he was going to die, consciously, anyway, but his spirit subconsciously let my dad know that his time was short.

Unfortunately, my mom senses the same spiritual urgency now in my grandfather. He had been worried about my grandmother and her falling. She fell a few times when I visited them in February. My mom asked how Grandma got up since she doesn't like Grandpa to help her, and we were told that he unrolled waxed paper and she used that to slide across the floor to the couch where she could pull herself up. In April, my grandparents moved into an assisted living unit. Since living there, Grandma hasn't been in the best of moods since she says it's dull and the nurses don't clean things well enough. (Not a surprise since Grandma likes things spotless...) Grandpa has more hope, though, that everything will be well for his wife when he passes. He's now having some health issues - although I don't know what they are exactly - and tells my mom that his time is short.

I think sometimes, that this family is in for a year of heart break and loss since we've already lost my dad and are facing the real possibilites that Travis and my grandfather will be passing on soon as well. It brings me to tears thinking of what my mom and aunts will go through when their father dies since I've already been there. I can't even imagine how Mandy will feel when Travis crosses the veil. The one thing I do know is that families are forever. I know my mother feels my dad's presence at times and his love for her. I have felt it for me too. Then I look at my children and realize that we have to keep hope alive. Our hopes for their futures. Our faith in God and that He knows what's best for us. I can set aside my worries about Joe getting another job and moving and just live each day for what it is, a gift from a loving Heavenly Father. Each of my children is another gift, and hopefully one day (in several years...) grandchildren will be another. Our hopes may change, but only God knows which of our hopes will come to fruition since all is in His hands. He knows what we need as His children. He gives us the strength to endure whatever trials we were willing to bear in this life.

I do have a new goal which I hope :-) I can keep - reading the Book of Mormon. I keep getting stuck in either Mosiah or Alma, but this time I've given myself a deadline of August 31st. Partly because there's a Facebook challenge to read the Doctrine & Covenants starting September 1st that I want to participate in. I'm hoping that I can find the energy to keep my eyes open enough to read about 10 pages per day until I finish because Hope will occassionally keep me up at night. She likes to eat. :-)

Hope Isabelle Lynn

Hope Isabelle Lynn made her appearance on May 10, 2010 at 9:16 PM. I should not have waited until she was 9 days old to post this!

After four trips to the hospital for false labor, the doctor finally sent me over since they didn't dare let me go home. I was dilated to 7 cm after sitting at 5 cm for over two weeks. Being Group B Strep positive, I needed antibiotics during delivery. They'd kept telling me to "wait for something different" before I came in and I said that would be transition or my water breaking, which generally is pretty much on top of each other. That was proven when they finally induced my labor. Nurses couldn't believe I'd walked in at 7 cm and was still able to talk without any pain. I guess that's what happens with a sixth child. Especially after contracting for a month, you learn to ignore the contractions and quit timing them. You're just convinced that the baby will NEVER show up. She did though. Once the doctor broke my water, I delivered quite fast - about an hour later.

Hope arrived weighing in at 8 lbs 3 oz and was 20 inches long. She'd had the cord around her neck, so didn't cry at first, which was a bit disconcerting. The doctor encouraged her to cry, which she finally did.

Joe picked the kids up and brought them to the hospital since Heather had "waited over a decade" for a sister. They were so excited to see Hope. I don't know how the boys did it, but they actually made it to school the next morning. I thought they would sleep. I'm kind of glad they did go because when they came to the hospital the next evening, they drove me nuts. The boys were stir crazy and wouldn't sit still. I was exhausted since I kept getting awakened by nurses taking my blood pressure, bringing Hope to eat, paperwork, or medications. Thank goodness the next night was better.


I was released from the hospital Wednesday afternoon which was good because my mom was driving in on Thursday, May 13th - the day I'd originally scheduled the induction for. (Can I say how GLAD I am that they moved that up three days?) Mom and her friend Shaaron Seaich came for Thursday afternoon and Friday morning then headed on to Nauvoo, IL. It was good to see them, even if the visit was short.

Hope has been a wonderful baby thus far. She sleeps well and even slept for five hours one night. I actually woke up before her wondering if she would please EAT.

The other kids like to hold and cuddle her. Jacob even went so far as to pick her up out of her crib today which scared me. I'm glad he didn't drop her. Sam likes showing her off, as does Heather.

Now I need to figure out when Mom can come out for a baby blessing. We'll probably bless her in July. I'd wanted to drive to Utah and have all of Joe's family there, too, but it's cost prohibitive right now. Especially since we went out in September. Now, if Joe could get a job out that direction...

Family History

Today I seem to have gotten a message. Dad's been gone six months - today. After he returned to his heavenly home, I was given a blessing where I was told that my dad would be teaching people on the other side so that the temple work I would do for them would be accepted. I was encouraged to continue doing the genealogy that has always interested me.

I've been so focused on getting ready for Hope to arrive (Thursday - YEAH!), that I've not focused much on my genealogy. I've recently changed programs so that I can link with New Family Search and see what other people have done and see if it's correct. Then I've had to reattach all the photos of people, gravestones, and documents that I have to the correct person in the file.

So, basically, I've been procrastinating. Then I check my email and find an email saying "Holly, I got your email from Karen and Patti." Apprehensive at opening an email from a person I don't know, I felt I should do it anyway. After all, Karen and Patti ARE two of my aunts. Surely they wouldn't give some psycho my email address. And, if it turns out to be a virus, I have a husband that can fix my computer. :-) Turns out it was my mom's cousin, Greg Lee asking about genealogy. He's caught the family history bug and was wanting some information on his mother's (Aunt Phoebe) family.

Thus, I've put together a PDF of Phoebe and Grandma's ancestry (what I have done of it), and will be converting it to a Word file for him. I am still debating as to whether I should remove the LDS information from it showing that the families have been baptized, endowed, and sealed since that part of the family is not part of the church. Some people it wouldn't matter to, but others just don't understand our practices.

Anyway, I've spent hours on genealogy today and realized that I don't have lots of the current information. A few years ago Joe had gotten on my case about spending my Sundays doing family history and not spending time with our family, so I stopped keeping up on it. Then he kind of had a nervous breakdown last year about this time and came to some sort of spiritual reawakening after I shipped him off to Utah for a week. He came back wanting to do genealogy and I looked at him like he had two heads. Wasn't this the same man that had asked me to NOT do so much? Who was this guy? What did he do with my husband? (Kidding!) I got him set up on it and he started working on some things. We've gotten to where we keep the database on the server so we can both access it. Now I've been digging through people's old blog postings to find dates of births, blessings, baptisms, and pictures so that I can update the information on cousins' kids. I was surprised how many I was missing. I'm sure I'm still missing some.

So, for those of you that actually read this, if you have family group sheets with your family's information, I'd love to have it so I can update my files.

Mormon Prom

Heather is out on her first "real" date with her boyfriend tonight. It's to the "Mormon Prom." They've been seeing eachother since January, but since neither of them drive, all their "dates" have been with parents tagging along. She goes to his house on Monday nights to watch "24" and he comes over on Sunday nights to participate in our FHE and play Uno. It's a good way (for the parents) to see the kids date. Plus, we've really gotten to know Conner better over the past few months.

Heather looked stunning tonight in a silver dress and bolo jacket. She was so nervous! I've never had her ask me if she looked alright. She may have asked if a shirt was too low or a skirt too short, but never if the whole ensemble (hair, makeup, outfit) looked okay. I smoothed back a hair that was escaping a bobby pin and went to get my camera. She didn't wait for me, but instead came out so Conner, at the bottom of the stairs, could see her. All I heard was "WOW!" But that told me (and her) enough. Conner obviously thought she looked as beautiful as I thought she did.

I had to go get groceries after they left, and as I drove by Conner's house (just down the street), I saw his mom outside. Cathy and her husband, Gary, run a catering company, so had fixed Heather and Conner a dinner at their house. She had brought Conner over and took pictures before the date started. I had asked her if they'd decided to go elsewhere for dinner since I'd gotten a phone call from Heather who was excited because Conner had rented a stretch limo. Cathy said both of them were too nervous to eat much and Conner kept saying he couldn't look at Heather because of the butterflies in his stomache. So Cathy set their dinner aside for after the dance.

The dance goes until 10:30 tonight, so hopefully they won't be out too late. I think the limo was just for the ride there, and Conner's parents will be picking them up from the church.

I love that the stakes out here have developed this prom for kids in the church. Tonight's dance coincides with two high school proms, but this one provides a much safer and more moral atmosphere for the kids to attend. I'm excited for her and hope she has fun.

Another Interview

Joe got a call from Idaho National Laboratory yesterday asking him for another phone interview. It's a different position this time. He's applied for several positions with INL, the one he was flown out for in July he has now applied for at least five times. I think he just reapplied for the sixth time. It gets frustrating to have him apply and then not hear anything for months on end.

INL went through an internal restructuring about the time Joe was interviewed then Homeland Security came in and required more. I'm sure they were frustrated, but probably not as much as I have been. I was so looking forward to moving to Idaho Falls and raising my boys there. Bug is close to moving out since she'll head to college in a couple of years, so even if we ever get west again, she probably won't be there long. She wants to go to South Carolina or Virginia for college.

I'm not getting my hopes up this time. I've pretty much prepared myself to stay in Memphis until Joe finishes his Master's degree, which will take about two years. By that time Bear will be high school age and it would be good for him to move. As it stands now, he wants to do the same on-line program that Bug is involved in. When he gets to ninth grade, we'll probably do just that since I really don't like the high school here.

I was so impressed with the Utah schools after being here in Memphis. The kids get more recesses, fewer class hours, better grading scales and just as good (if not better) an education. I've really noticed that Buddy is starting to be onery again and I think a good part of it is the schedule that he has here. My boys really miss their Utah schools. Bug is glad to be back where it's warmer, but frustrated that there's been snow lately. We've had four snow/ice days in the past two weeks. Memphians are wimps and really can't handle (or drive in) the snow and cold. Kids don't get outside recess unless it's 40 degrees or warmer. If that were the case in Huntsville, UT, the kids would NEVER go out in the winter. Bug hated waiting for the bus to come when there had just been a foot of snow in one day and the temperature dropped to -10.

As much as Bug would complain, I still hope that Joe will eventually move our family back west. I don't care what state it's in, as long as it's closer to family. Joe's parents turned 80 this past year and will celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary this July. We were unable to go to either of their birthday celebrations and it will be unlikely that we could go to any celebration his family may be planning for his parents' anniversary. That is unless we drive out in July and bless the baby there.

For those of you that DIDN'T know, we're expecting our sixth child in May. A girl this time, so Bug is thrilled. She'll finally have a sister. She's already talking about doing hair and dressing her up in frilly dresses. So far the pregnancy is going well. My ribs are sore, but that's only going to get worse. At least my back is still holding up. I worried about that since I ruptured a disk in my back last March. Now, if I can make it through tax season without going into preterm labor, I'll be set. Seuss was 3 1/2 weeks early, Dude was 3 weeks early, and this one is due four weeks after tax season ends. But that's my life, I never seem to do things the easy way... :-)