I was watching a movie called Now is Good that stars Dakota Fanning. She plays the role of a teenager that is dying of leukemia and gives a wonderful performance. It's a tear jerker, so if you're not in the mood for a good cry, don't watch it. As for me, I don't think I'd realized how in need of a good cry I was...nor how therapeutic that can be.
I've been wanting to write things down lately, but keep putting of hand writing in my journal because I print out pages from this blog and put them as journal entries. So, it's been sitting there and I keep putting of writing even though I know that this is a good way for me to express my feelings and get them out so they aren't bottled up.
It occurred to me this morning that I've been monumentally depressed. I kept telling myself I wouldn't let my grief over a family situation affect my daily life, but it did. It doesn't matter how you try to bury some things and try to forget they ever happened, but the truth of the matter is, they come back at inopportune times sometimes and you just have to deal with them.
One particular situation deals with my oldest, Heather. I won't go into all the details here, as it's not appropriate on a blog. However, Heather has made several decisions in the past couple of years that her father and I do not support. We love her, but not her life choices at the moment. I can't speak for Joe, but I know that I feel that in some ways she's walked away from her family and all that she was taught as a child. I've felt that she made a 180 degree turn and is making life choices that are the complete opposite of the values she was raised with. It deeply saddens me to think of the life Joe and I had envisioned for her and see it not just slipping away from her, but being pushed away from her as hard and fast as possible. I spoke with her yesterday regarding looking at college, but I think she thought I was trying to pressure her when in actuality I was just trying to figure out her plans since they seem to constantly change. I thought she'd been planning on looking at a tech school, but then I hear her saying more about picking up another part-time job.
You know, every time I talk to my teenagers it's like things go in one ear and out the other. I tell Jeremiah that he needs to get caught up on his communications class, and he ignores me. Same issue with chores many times. "(Boy's name), please do the dishes (empty the garbage, sweep the floor, etc.)..." Response...coming back to a full kitchen sink, incomplete homework, overflowing garbage cans, etc. There are days that I'd just like to break out a willow branch and smack them one, but you just don't dare do that anymore since you'd have the kid or a neighbor calling child services on you. Taking privileges away doesn't make much difference with some of my kids since not much seems that important to them.
Hope is another challenge. She's an escape artist. A few weeks ago Jacob was home from school with a bad cough. I thought Hope had followed him downstairs, and I was doing the dishes. Then I went to check on them and realized Hope wasn't in the house. She'd unlocked the door and slipped through the opening (even with the chain done), and left. I totally freaked out, but I figured she'd gone to "her" park. Yep, that's where I found her. She called, "Mommy!" when I came to get her like nothing was wrong. I didn't dare spank her since there were other parents around and it probably looked like I was kidnapping a child off the playground, but she knew by the time we got home how mad I was at her. Because Joe and I were both upset with her and voiced our disapproval to her, she actually has stayed in the yard since then. Doesn't mean she doesn't slip out of the house on occasion, she has. She just hasn't left our property on her own since then. Thank goodness!
Wow! Just writing some of my thoughts has definitely helped. I guess this is why God has asked us to keep journals. I need to be better about it. I used to be pretty consistent about writing. Now to print this out and add it to the journal so that when the urge to write hits, I will actually do it without any excuses as to why I can't. :-)
Behling Family 2014
Friday, May 17, 2013
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
A Very Taxing Day
Yesterday was interesting to say the least. I feel like I've got to write what happened down so that I can just forget about it and move on with my life. After all...I did nothing wrong.
A client called me on Saturday with some questions about his tax return that I'd prepared. Since he is now retired, he hoped to learn a bit about taxes so he could do his own taxes in the future. OK. I have no problem helping people help themselves. It's what I do.
I don't know if it's fortunate or unfortunate that he inherited a rental property that he decided to sell in 2012. This gentleman's former accountant had been contacted before the sale of the property supposedly to verify that he would have no capital gains on the property and that he wouldn't be taxed on inherited property. Now most people know that in the past people have been (and some still are) heavily taxed on inheritances. Right now, that isn't the case. You can inherit property and not pay tax on the value of the property you inherit. That value is the value on the date of the person's death, or six months later (unless sold within that six months) if the alternate valuation date is chosen for that person's estate. If, however, you sell that property after the six month period is up and it has increased or decreased in value, you may have a capital gain or loss.
In this case, the inherited property was a rental property. It was treated as a rental on his 2011 tax return and I treated the sale as such. This client wasn't happy at all. He insisted that his property was NOT business property because it couldn't be rented in 2012 due to water issues. (This comes up AFTER I had done the return.) He also argued that he shouldn't have capital gains because the property was worth more than the county's tax assessment value (which could be, but I had no other number...like an appraisal...to go by). So, since the gentleman kept interrupting me as I tried to explain how I came about the number on his tax return, I finally just took out my checkbook and wrote him a check for the amount he'd paid me and took back the tax return. He looked at me and told me that he felt the return was wrong and that he hadn't been certain that he'd get his money back. That felt like such an attack on my integrity. I pride myself in being honest and fair with all my clients. I try so hard to do my best for them. It hurt. It really did. I called his prior accountant to let her know that this gentleman may be heading back her way and what to expect. It's no surprise to me that she was agreeing with how I'd prepared the tax return. It will be a surprise to this gentleman.
It's so frustrating when a client will not listen to you...much like a child won't listen to their parents' advice. I've been doing taxes for 17 years now and this man acted like he knew more...even after he came to me asking for me to teach him. He asked if I felt I never made a mistake. Of course I have. I'm not afraid to admit it. Do I know all the tax code? No. But I do know how to look it up if I'm uncertain about something. Would I ever do a tax form that wasn't required like he accused me of? Absolutely not!
After such an encounter as this was, I'm so very grateful for the clients I have that have stuck by me all these years. Some for nearly my whole tax preparer career. I still have some clients that I got that first tax season I was in business for myself 16 years ago. That fact alone humbles me. I'm so grateful for them, that I know I will be able to shrug off the cruel accusations that were hurled at me yesterday. For those of you that have stuck by me through all my moves and children, let me tell you Thank You so very, very much.
A client called me on Saturday with some questions about his tax return that I'd prepared. Since he is now retired, he hoped to learn a bit about taxes so he could do his own taxes in the future. OK. I have no problem helping people help themselves. It's what I do.
I don't know if it's fortunate or unfortunate that he inherited a rental property that he decided to sell in 2012. This gentleman's former accountant had been contacted before the sale of the property supposedly to verify that he would have no capital gains on the property and that he wouldn't be taxed on inherited property. Now most people know that in the past people have been (and some still are) heavily taxed on inheritances. Right now, that isn't the case. You can inherit property and not pay tax on the value of the property you inherit. That value is the value on the date of the person's death, or six months later (unless sold within that six months) if the alternate valuation date is chosen for that person's estate. If, however, you sell that property after the six month period is up and it has increased or decreased in value, you may have a capital gain or loss.
In this case, the inherited property was a rental property. It was treated as a rental on his 2011 tax return and I treated the sale as such. This client wasn't happy at all. He insisted that his property was NOT business property because it couldn't be rented in 2012 due to water issues. (This comes up AFTER I had done the return.) He also argued that he shouldn't have capital gains because the property was worth more than the county's tax assessment value (which could be, but I had no other number...like an appraisal...to go by). So, since the gentleman kept interrupting me as I tried to explain how I came about the number on his tax return, I finally just took out my checkbook and wrote him a check for the amount he'd paid me and took back the tax return. He looked at me and told me that he felt the return was wrong and that he hadn't been certain that he'd get his money back. That felt like such an attack on my integrity. I pride myself in being honest and fair with all my clients. I try so hard to do my best for them. It hurt. It really did. I called his prior accountant to let her know that this gentleman may be heading back her way and what to expect. It's no surprise to me that she was agreeing with how I'd prepared the tax return. It will be a surprise to this gentleman.
It's so frustrating when a client will not listen to you...much like a child won't listen to their parents' advice. I've been doing taxes for 17 years now and this man acted like he knew more...even after he came to me asking for me to teach him. He asked if I felt I never made a mistake. Of course I have. I'm not afraid to admit it. Do I know all the tax code? No. But I do know how to look it up if I'm uncertain about something. Would I ever do a tax form that wasn't required like he accused me of? Absolutely not!
After such an encounter as this was, I'm so very grateful for the clients I have that have stuck by me all these years. Some for nearly my whole tax preparer career. I still have some clients that I got that first tax season I was in business for myself 16 years ago. That fact alone humbles me. I'm so grateful for them, that I know I will be able to shrug off the cruel accusations that were hurled at me yesterday. For those of you that have stuck by me through all my moves and children, let me tell you Thank You so very, very much.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Lessons Learned
I learned the wisdom of not posting too quickly on Facebook today. It was the day the bookfair was being set up and I found out the people over it were short volunteers. So, since I know people that don't return phone calls or read their emails but do check their social media, I hurried and posted something for the school group on Facebook. Big mistake. I offended some people. Only about 20 people saw the post, but still. *sigh* I really am so much better with numbers. Guess I'd better read through things to see how they sound before I post them. I tried to delete it, but couldn't. :-(
On the upside, we did get the bookfair all set up. It looks great. I've been really impressed with the PTO leaders. They're incredible and do such a great job.
Joe came home tonight since he has a doctor's appointment tomorrow. He brought a new "friend" for Samuel from Heather. It's a Build-a-Bear that is brown with a Harley-Davidson jacket. Heather recorded, "Sam, I love you mostest mostest mostest!" So now the bear says that. Cute, really, since that's what Samuel tells everybody in the family. If you say you love him "mostest mostest," he'll add one or two "mostest" to whatever you said so he can "win." He's such a cute kid.
I also found that I've made some headway on the appeal for United Healthcare to pay for Sam's speech therapy. They'd paid July and August, then denied the claims for September and October. I sent in an appeal, because by the time I found out, I'd already had Sam in speech through November. When I discovered they paid November's claim, I thought the process was done and they'd be paying, but was told that UHC could actually go back and say they'd over paid the prior months which would have left me paying nearly $4,000 in speech therapy bills. Money we don't have. Fortunately it appears that my appeal was granted, and UHC has gone back and paid the September and October bills. What a relief!
So, today's been a mixed bag. Just one of those days, I guess. But, as Scarlett always said, "Tomorrow is another day." (or something like that...)
On the upside, we did get the bookfair all set up. It looks great. I've been really impressed with the PTO leaders. They're incredible and do such a great job.
Joe came home tonight since he has a doctor's appointment tomorrow. He brought a new "friend" for Samuel from Heather. It's a Build-a-Bear that is brown with a Harley-Davidson jacket. Heather recorded, "Sam, I love you mostest mostest mostest!" So now the bear says that. Cute, really, since that's what Samuel tells everybody in the family. If you say you love him "mostest mostest," he'll add one or two "mostest" to whatever you said so he can "win." He's such a cute kid.
I also found that I've made some headway on the appeal for United Healthcare to pay for Sam's speech therapy. They'd paid July and August, then denied the claims for September and October. I sent in an appeal, because by the time I found out, I'd already had Sam in speech through November. When I discovered they paid November's claim, I thought the process was done and they'd be paying, but was told that UHC could actually go back and say they'd over paid the prior months which would have left me paying nearly $4,000 in speech therapy bills. Money we don't have. Fortunately it appears that my appeal was granted, and UHC has gone back and paid the September and October bills. What a relief!
So, today's been a mixed bag. Just one of those days, I guess. But, as Scarlett always said, "Tomorrow is another day." (or something like that...)
Friday, January 11, 2013
Interesting Day
I had an interesting and somewhat stressful afternoon yesterday. Jacob brought a friend and new ward member home with him after school yesterday. Our scout master had made arrangements with the family for this boy to come to my house before he and Jacob head to cub scouts. So, I was expecting him. I wasn't expecting to get a call from the school, though, asking about the boy's eight-year-old sister that ended up being left at the school by herself. This boy couldn't remember his phone number, the school had been calling the mother's cell phone rather than the father's. I offered to take the girl home with her brother after scouts since she couldn't just stay at the school. The secretary offered to bring her by my house rather than me walking the short distance to the school. Well...the girl never showed up. I took the boy and Jacob and we drove by his apartment to see if she'd gotten home. I'd been trying to call the parents using numbers in the church directory, but none of them worked. Nobody was there when we drove by. There wasn't much I could do, so I took the boys to scouts and kept trying to see if the numbers would finally get answered. Nope. After scouts I picked up Jacob and his friend and went to the apartment. This time there was a light on inside, although he didn't see his car. Turns out his dad was just getting in the car to go find his son. The school had left messages on the mom's cell phone (about five of them), but she'd been at work and unable to use her phone. When we'd gone by earlier, the dad had gone to pick up the mom, and had already picked up the sister from the school. I really wish the secretary had let me know that. The dad and I exchanged numbers so that this will never happen to me again. Too bad the parents hadn't checked their emails to get the message I'd sent as to where their son was...my address and phone numbers included.
I guess yesterday was just a bit of a stressor since I am fighting an insurance company about paying for Samuel's speech therapy. They paid some, denied other claims. Turns out that they're telling me now that they may determine all the claims were over paid since I sent in an appeal. I'm hoping for a note after Samuel's next EEG that will help us recode the speech so it's something other than developmental delay. If we can recode it, the insurance won't have an issue paying it...I hope.
Today's looking up, though. We got about 5-6" of snow last night. I kind of groaned at the thought of digging my way out of my driveway so that I could get Sam to school. Imagine my relief when a couple offered to scrape my driveway with the blade they had on their truck. They'd just been driving by and saw me shoveling my driveway. What would've taken me at least 30 minutes, this guy did in under five.
I must say that this area has some remarkable people. This guy was generous to offer his time. I really do like the people of Idaho. Hopefully living here will help my boys grow into awesome men!
I guess yesterday was just a bit of a stressor since I am fighting an insurance company about paying for Samuel's speech therapy. They paid some, denied other claims. Turns out that they're telling me now that they may determine all the claims were over paid since I sent in an appeal. I'm hoping for a note after Samuel's next EEG that will help us recode the speech so it's something other than developmental delay. If we can recode it, the insurance won't have an issue paying it...I hope.
Today's looking up, though. We got about 5-6" of snow last night. I kind of groaned at the thought of digging my way out of my driveway so that I could get Sam to school. Imagine my relief when a couple offered to scrape my driveway with the blade they had on their truck. They'd just been driving by and saw me shoveling my driveway. What would've taken me at least 30 minutes, this guy did in under five.
I must say that this area has some remarkable people. This guy was generous to offer his time. I really do like the people of Idaho. Hopefully living here will help my boys grow into awesome men!
Friday, January 4, 2013
Happy 2013!
I don't know how long it's been since I last posted. Probably a year. What a year 2012 was. Frankly, it's not one that I'd ever want to relive. We had good and bad, some things were bitter sweet, but it was just a hard year.
A quick update on Sam, since the last time I posted on this blog probably was when he had a seizure, he's doing well. In March he had an abnormal EEG result so was put on medication for his seizure. He has only ever had the one, for which I'm extremely grateful. He's in kindergarten and LOVING it!
Hope is growing quickly and a sweeter little tornado there never was. She gets into everything and takes the "toddler rules of property" to an extreme. She's got a strong will, but her hugs will gain her forgiveness for the tantrums she has any day of the week. I must say, though, I'm glad my girls are 16 years apart. Any closer and I might not have had six kids! Kidding! I love my girls!
Jeremiah turned 16 last month. He's got a learner's permit, and I must say I like the way Idaho handles permits. The kids don't get them in hand until AFTER they've completed a licensed Driver's Education course. That means Mom and Dad don't drive with them until their child has had six hours of driving already. Soooo much better and less nerve wracking than when we had to teach Heather! He's a priest now and does well blessing the sacrament at church. We hope that he will be able to get a job at a scout camp this summer.
Matthew is doing well in school and learning the trombone. There's an after school music program where the sixth graders can choose band or orchestra. I gave him the choice of trombone or viola since we already had the instruments. He chose trombone, but now thinks he should've chosen the viola since it would've been lighter to carry!
Jacob has watched Matthew in band and wants to play the drums since he sees some at his friend's house. He was convinced that I'd let him play them since my brother used to play them. Ummm, that's probably why I don't relish the thought. John used to drum to AC/DC, Metallica, and other hard rock bands that I just can't stand listening to. So, I gave Jacob the condition that my mom put in place for John, that he has to have piano lessons first. Thus, I've been roped in by my own rule to teaching Jacob to play piano. He takes after me in trying to go ahead of what he's been taught so he can play his own thing...well, try to play his own thing.
Heather resides in Utah now. It's one of those hard situations. I can't believe I'm old enough to have a 19 year old daughter. I certainly don't look that old. [If you disagree, keep that to yourself, please. ;-) ] She moved to Rexburg, ID last June and to Utah in September. It was in September she was diagnosed with hyper-mobility syndrome which is hard on her joints. There are exercises she can do, I think, and she can take anti-inflamatories, but that's about it. She's no longer working as a CNA but at a call center in Salt Lake. She makes more money, but I think she likes her part-time nanny job better.
Joe retired from the military in October which was harder than either of us thought it would be. He's working in Salt Lake and living with his sister since INL was going to lay him off last April. He comes home on weekends, but he hopes to change positions within the company in the near future (fingers crossed) so that he can work from home.
It's not easy acting like a single mom during the week. I'd tip my hat, if I wore one, to any single mom out there. I get the weekends off and am not required to work outside the home, thank goodness. But, I must say, that the boys are relatively good at stepping up when it's really important. Not so great at doing their homework...but we can't have it all, now can we?
BUT...2013 is looking up. I decided I wanted a new start for 2013. So...I cut my hair. New look that will be easy to manage, and Locks of Love gets a 12" hair donation. I'm setting some goals, although not the typical "resolutions" to lose weight or some such thing. Some won't be easy to reach, but I think they'll be worth it in the long run. I think the first goal will be to survive this Idaho winter cold!
Here's to a happy 2013!
A quick update on Sam, since the last time I posted on this blog probably was when he had a seizure, he's doing well. In March he had an abnormal EEG result so was put on medication for his seizure. He has only ever had the one, for which I'm extremely grateful. He's in kindergarten and LOVING it!
Hope is growing quickly and a sweeter little tornado there never was. She gets into everything and takes the "toddler rules of property" to an extreme. She's got a strong will, but her hugs will gain her forgiveness for the tantrums she has any day of the week. I must say, though, I'm glad my girls are 16 years apart. Any closer and I might not have had six kids! Kidding! I love my girls!
Jeremiah turned 16 last month. He's got a learner's permit, and I must say I like the way Idaho handles permits. The kids don't get them in hand until AFTER they've completed a licensed Driver's Education course. That means Mom and Dad don't drive with them until their child has had six hours of driving already. Soooo much better and less nerve wracking than when we had to teach Heather! He's a priest now and does well blessing the sacrament at church. We hope that he will be able to get a job at a scout camp this summer.
Matthew is doing well in school and learning the trombone. There's an after school music program where the sixth graders can choose band or orchestra. I gave him the choice of trombone or viola since we already had the instruments. He chose trombone, but now thinks he should've chosen the viola since it would've been lighter to carry!
Jacob has watched Matthew in band and wants to play the drums since he sees some at his friend's house. He was convinced that I'd let him play them since my brother used to play them. Ummm, that's probably why I don't relish the thought. John used to drum to AC/DC, Metallica, and other hard rock bands that I just can't stand listening to. So, I gave Jacob the condition that my mom put in place for John, that he has to have piano lessons first. Thus, I've been roped in by my own rule to teaching Jacob to play piano. He takes after me in trying to go ahead of what he's been taught so he can play his own thing...well, try to play his own thing.
Heather resides in Utah now. It's one of those hard situations. I can't believe I'm old enough to have a 19 year old daughter. I certainly don't look that old. [If you disagree, keep that to yourself, please. ;-) ] She moved to Rexburg, ID last June and to Utah in September. It was in September she was diagnosed with hyper-mobility syndrome which is hard on her joints. There are exercises she can do, I think, and she can take anti-inflamatories, but that's about it. She's no longer working as a CNA but at a call center in Salt Lake. She makes more money, but I think she likes her part-time nanny job better.
Joe retired from the military in October which was harder than either of us thought it would be. He's working in Salt Lake and living with his sister since INL was going to lay him off last April. He comes home on weekends, but he hopes to change positions within the company in the near future (fingers crossed) so that he can work from home.
It's not easy acting like a single mom during the week. I'd tip my hat, if I wore one, to any single mom out there. I get the weekends off and am not required to work outside the home, thank goodness. But, I must say, that the boys are relatively good at stepping up when it's really important. Not so great at doing their homework...but we can't have it all, now can we?
BUT...2013 is looking up. I decided I wanted a new start for 2013. So...I cut my hair. New look that will be easy to manage, and Locks of Love gets a 12" hair donation. I'm setting some goals, although not the typical "resolutions" to lose weight or some such thing. Some won't be easy to reach, but I think they'll be worth it in the long run. I think the first goal will be to survive this Idaho winter cold!
Here's to a happy 2013!
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